Thursday Ghost

Today I thought

I saw you

walking towards me

even though it couldn’t be

you couldn’t be

And I felt no shock at seeing

your familiar face
only a vague confusion

as I wondered why

you should be here

of all places

You were in Pennsylvania

(you were in Hawaii)

And as I held the door

for the person who was

not you

I thought about death and how

in our hearts

it’s never quite real

So that I could see you today

and simply smile

not remembering.

Guitar Man

I’m exhausted

falling asleep in my chair

and yet because there is a man

playing soft guitar

on the level below me

I feel happy

and content

and I feel great love for this man

I do not know.

Guitar man

my heart goes to you

for your song

for the softly whispered words

that do not quite reach my ear

I hear your heart

beating beating

and I feel your love

For the music

for this beautiful dark guitar that you

are cradling

I don’t know most of you

but I know this part

this longing that bleeds

into a kind of love

so poignant that your fingers

seem to have life apart

so that your blood sizzles

with the music

with the incredible awe of

sound

and strings

and life

and a silent stranger’s smile. 

Last

In the last shut-eye

before the big sleep

you will dream of flying

so high you can see the stars

behind the blue

the world will feel very small

unreal and

this will scare you

you won’t be able to figure out

how to come back down

instead you’ll float up

right up to the stars

the blue will disappear

so will the land

until there are only stars

stars

and the blackness

in between.

Coffee Shop Romance

Young man

You asked me to watch your

Things and

I said sure and

Looked up and

My god you were cute

When you came back you said thanks and

We smiled at one another and

Our gazes lingered

Just a bit

I don’t think it was my imagination

We spent the next half hour or so

Jiggling our legs and

Shifting our bodies and

Sneaking glimpses

Of one another out of the corners of our

Eyes

You watched me type and

I watched you read and

We both pretended we were just as alone

As we had been before

You spoke

But of course now there was

You and

Now there was

Me and

I know you wanted to say something

But didn’t know how to

Start

So instead you just cleared

Your throat

Now and then and

I smiled at my computer screen and

I left when my tea and battery got low

Refusing to care
Whether you watched me as I walked

Out of the coffee shop and

Into the rain.

Tightrope

You like it up there.

The roar of the crowd,

their breathless awe

as you deny the siren, gravity.

You like the danger,

the all-present knowledge

that one slip would be enough.

You like the air up there,

belonging only to you and the rope

and your breezy steps.

You don’t see me down here,

squeezing my eyes shut

and flicking them

open again with fear.

You don’t see me biting my tongue,

my knuckles white against my mouth.

You don’t see me laughing

(harder than anyone else)

when you step safely to the end,

my pride and love, my terrible relief.

I hate it up here.

The bloodthirsty screams of the crowd,

waiting with bated breath for me to fall,

praying for it (the bastards).

I hate the danger,

knowing that one day I’ll slip,

my foot will falter, step upon nothing.

I hate the air up here,

the cold loneliness

with only myself and the screams

for company.

But I see you down there,

your beautiful face turned up,

not ecstatic or malicious,

but white and worried.

I do it for you…

for the end of the rope,

when you clap and clap,

and my heart falls down

down, down

into your open eyes.